I read an article recently that looked at shyness in a different way. It suggests that shyness by nature is narcissistic - your focus is on what other people think of you and not how your reticence affects them - how it can make other people think you're not interested in them and what they have to say. Which is true really - a really shy person ( Read more... )

I stayed at my art group all day today (usually i stay for just the morning) so that i got to meet more people, and afterwards i went to the groups leaders house to see his studio. His work is amazing.
I wish i wasn't so crap socially. I'm so awkward, and i can't get past the idea that people must hate to be around me because i'm boring/uncool/ ( Read more... )

My body is punishing me for the weekend - i dared to go out and do stuff(!), which it does not like. Plus i didn't get to bed til 4am last night thanks to house dramaz, which didn't help.
On saturday it was beauuuuuuutiful weather so Simon and I had a very long walk. We walked out the city, across the common, and up a hill until we could see for ( Read more... )

I'm bloody awake, and have run out of quetiapine to knock me out.
Not that i want to be reliant on that shit for anything.
Recently it's been like my body has decided to become nocturnal. I'm sleepy and exhausted all day, and then wake up in early evening, and going to sleep feels all wrong by bedtime. I've fought against it by trying to be up and ( Read more... )

Suicidal thoughts and feelings are back and slowly gaining momentum. I'm depressed today. I was depressed yesterday ( Read more... )

Despite the positivity of my last post i'm actually rather nervous of being 'well'. If i'm well then i'm expected to go back to normal ordinary life (work etc) and it scares me in case the stresses of that trigger me to get unwell again.
Particularly with anxiety - depression/ME/whatever does a brilliant job of removing me from sources of anxiety ( Read more... )

Posting rather a lot today, but i think this is important-ish...

I'm so incredibly WELL right now. Mentally great.

Let's see -
I am not sad, down, unhappy. I am not feeling unreasonably hopeless. I can concentrate well enough to read certain books (the print is important, weird as that sounds). I've had a nearly-normal amount of energy the past few ( Read more... )

I've figured that a large part of my problem is loneliness, or the threat of it ( Read more... )

It's 27 degrees C and humid. Yanks and Aussies and other non-Brits will probably snort at my lack of hardcoreness, but i don't care - it's too hot and it's horrible.

I've just done some stuff with my support worker. Had an interview for voluntary work and that was an epic FAIL. The interviewer goes "i've got 300 agencies registered with us" and ( Read more... )

Depression:

Potential causes of onset:
- stress
- fear of growing up and of entering the 'outside world' (partly taken from my mums view of the world as being threatening which caused her to be over-protective and see the danger in everything)
- feelings of hopelessness regarding anxiety disorder and ED
- not talking through my feelings with others
- ( Read more... )